Dear Zoned Out Beloved and Not-So-Beloved Readers,

I've been thinking of what I wanted to vent out in this letter this past week, and was building up a theme to base it on... But of course, when I actually get to working on it, splat! My brain is a grease spot on the highway. Well, I was going to mention how the other day, I was chatting it up with a certain local "celebrity" about Panache and he said something like this, "Yeah, the magazine will look really good on resumes so that in the future you can write for maybe Rolling Stone. Not to bash your dreams or anything, but you're never going to make money off of this. Not here in Humboldt County. You have to move on to something bigger..." I took that statement as kind of a slap in the face. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be an intentional one, but it hit me and angered me a bit. First off, Rolling Stone... every journalist's wetdream supposedly.... To be honest if I was offered a job writing for them, I'd probably take it because I'm practically broke and it'd be nice to have a side project generating money for bills. But when it comes down to it, Panache would never be pushed aside when something "bigger and better" comes along, because I don't see anything as being "greater." The thing I love about Panache is that it's mine for the building and reconstructing...just as I open it up to be yours. I'm not following anyone's guidelines or timeframe which is something I'm also totally out of the habit of doing and can't see myself doing again. Well, at least as I can manage. The mag may not seem much to some, but its a lifestyle for me, and I couldn't imagine giving that up. A friend of mine was showing me horoscopes and all that hullabaloo, and in mine it said that I have a tendency to "ignore the reality of finances." Which is true in some ways. I understand financial responsibility, and I think I take care of that fairly well. But, money just doesn't seem real. It's tangible, yes. But it's frightening how it seems to suck people in and how people feel lost without it. Yet, it seems to be the primary focus in everyone's eyes nowadays, whether you're talking about art, music, bills, or the stock market. I went to a meeting for the Humboldt Music Arts Guild the other night, and I felt that 80% of the debate that night was over money. Whether or not you would have to pay to be a member, how much musicians should be making, etc. etc. Their intentions were good in the long run, but the talk of finances was overriding their goals. It seems the focus is lost in what we're trying to achieve through music and the arts because the reality of finances is beginning to influence the motive behind both musicians and artists. People are starting to create what they think will sell instead of what's from their heart. A major barrier is rearing its ugly head at those of us who still want to do what we love, the way we love to do it. It's nearly impossible at times. I wish I could change the world's primary focus to something more substantially "real." Meaning direct it towards appreciating something for its artistic merit rather thn financial value. And in doing so start to build something we can all benefit from. But, it's been this way since the dawn of time it seems. So I can only continue to do what I do and hope that it generates a response...
I hope that at least part of my point came out of this muck of brainwaves. The clock just clicked to 3:42AM... I'll tune into you folk soon...

Michelle Cable
Panache Magazine